Grief is heavy and can become all to consuming. The pain you carry can feel way to much for you to carry alone, especially at this holiday time. But, it's OK not to feel OK, because nobody else knows how you feel and nobody knows the emotions that pull you down to the depths of despair.
No parent is ever prepared for a child's death, parents are simply not supposed to outlive their children. So when they lose a child they really are not just losing a person they loved, they are losing their years of hopes, dreams, and promises that they had so looked forward to.
We all struggle, I'll be the first to admit, I do. Yet sadly, many of us desperately try to hide parts of our life from the world, especially those feelings we think are shameful or embarrassing after all, we just want to be accepted and fit in.
By the time we are adults, guaranteed we all will have experienced loss of various kinds. I'll bet you've probably felt many of those painful feelings, and it's OK to grieve all of those past losses no matter how big or small.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.